Jokes for all occasions: speed

In the business college, the instructor addressed the new class concerning the merits of shorthand. In his remarks, he included this statement:

“It is a matter of record that it took the poet Gray seven years to write his famous poem, ‘Elegy in a Country Churchyard.’ Had he been proficient in stenography, he could have done it in seven minutes. We have had students who have written it in that length of time.”

* * *

The young lady interested in botany inquired of the gentleman who had been traveling in the South.

“What sort of a plant is the Virginia creeper?”

“That is not a plant,” was the answer, given wearily; “it’s a railroad.”