Jokes for all occasions: social uplift

The somewhat unpleasant person, who was a social worker, completed her call on a dweller in the tenement district, and rose to depart. The unwilling hostess shook her head at the visitor’s promise to come again.

“And excuse me if I don’t return the call,” she vouchsafed. “Myself, I’ve got no time to go slummin’.”

* * *

The philanthropic hostess entertained a party of children from the slums at her home. She addressed one particularly pretty and intelligent-looking little girl, who listened shyly. She urged the child to speak without embarrassment. The little one complied, aspiring:

“How many children have you?”

“Six,” the hostess answered, in surprise.

“What a big family! You must be sure to look after them properly, and be very careful to keep them clean.”

“I’ll try to, certainly,” the lady declared, much amused.

“Has your husband got a job?” the girl demanded crisply.

“Well, no,” the hostess admitted.

“How unfortunate! You know you must keep out of debt.”

“Really, you must not be impertinent,” was the reproof.

“No, ma’am,” the child responded simply, “mother said I must talk like a lady, and that’s the way the ladies talk when they come to see us.”