The cottager was crippled by rheumatism, and the kindly clergyman taught him his letters, and put him through the primer and into the Bible. On his return after a vacation, the clergyman met the cottager’s wife.
“How does John get along with his reading of the Bible?” he asked.
“Oh, bless your reverence,” she replied proudly, “‘e’s out of the Bible and into the newspaper long ago.”
* * *
The kindly clergyman, newly come to the parish, was at great pains to teach an illiterate old man, crippled with rheumatism, his letters so that he could read the Bible. On the clergyman’s return after a short absence from the parish, he met the old man’s wife.
“And how is Thomas making out with reading his Bible?”
“Bless you, sir,” the wife declared proudly, “he’s out of the Bible and into the newspaper long ago.”
* * *
The physician advised his patient to eat a hearty dinner at night, without any worry over the ability to digest it. The patient, however, protested:
“But the other time when I came to see you, you insisted I must eat only a very light supper in the evening.”
The physician nodded, smiling complacently.
“Yes, of course—that shows what great progress the science of medicine is making.”