Jokes for all occasions: money talks

The disreputable-looking panhandler picked out an elderly gentleman of most benevolent aspect and made a plea for a small financial contribution. When he had finished his narrative of misery and woe the elderly gentleman replied benignantly:

“My good friend, I have no money, but I can give you some good advice.”

The tramp spat contemptuously, and uttered an oath of disgust.

“If you hain’t got no money,” he jeered, “I reckon your advice ain’t worth hearin’.”