Jokes for all occasions: manners

It is told of Prince Herbert Bismarck that at a reception in the Royal Palace in Berlin he rudely jostled a high dignitary of the Italian church. In answer to the prelate’s expression of annoyance, the Prince drew himself haughtily erect, and said, “I am Herbert Bismarck.”

“Ah,” replied the churchman, “that fact is perhaps an apology; certainly, it is a complete explanation.”

* * *

The tenderfoot in the Western town asked for coffee and rolls at the lunch counter. He was served by the waitress, and there was no saucer for the cup.

“What about the saucer?” he asked.

The girl explained:

“We don’t hand out saucers no more. We found, if we did, like’s not, some low-brow would drift in an’ drink out of the saucer, an’ that ain’t good fer trade. This here is a swell dump.”

* * *

After treading rather heavily on her foot, the man in the street car made humble apology to the woman. She listened in grim silence, and, when he had made an end, spoke very much to the point:

“That’s it! Walk all over a body’s feet, an’ then blat about how sorry you be. Well, I jest want you to understand that if I wasn’t a puffick lady, I’d slap your dirty face!”