Jokes for all occasions: items

The painter was required to render an itemized bill for his repairs on various pictures in a convent. The statement was as follows:

Corrected and renewed the Ten Commandments     6.00
Embellished Pontius Pilate and put a new ribbon on his bonnet     3.06
Put a new tail on the rooster of St. Peter and mended his bill     4.08
Put a new nose on St. John the Baptist and straightened his eye     2.06
Replumed and gilded the left wing of the Guardian Angel     5.06
Washed the servant of the High Priest and put carmine on his cheeks     2.04
Renewed Heaven, adjusted ten stars, gilded the sun and cleaned the moon     8.02
Reanimated the flames of Purgatory and restored some souls     3.06
Revived the flames of Hell, put a new tail on the devil, mended his left hoof and did several odd jobs for the damned     4.10
Put new spatter-dashes on the son of Tobias and dressing on his sack     2.00
Rebordered the robe of Herod and readjusted his wig     3.07
Cleaned the ears of Balaam’s ass, and shod him     2.08
Put earrings in the ears of Sarah     5.00
Put a new stone in David’s sling, enlarged Goliath’s hand and extended his legs     2.00
Decorated Noah’s Ark     1.20
Mended the shirt of the Prodigal Son, and cleaned the     1.00
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  53.83