Jokes for all occasions: history

The faculty were arranging the order of examinations. It was agreed that the harder subjects should be placed first in the list. It was proposed that history should have the final place. The woman teacher of that subject protested:

“But it is certainly one of the easiest subjects,” the head of the faculty declared.

The young woman shook her head, and spoke firmly:

“Not the way I teach it. Indeed, according to my method, it is a very difficult study, and most perplexing.”

* * *

Down in Virginia, near Yorktown, lived an aged negro whose proud boast was that he had been the body servant of George Washington. As he was very old indeed, no one could disprove his claims, and he made the most of his historical pretentions. He was full of anecdotes concerning the Father of His Country, and exploited himself in every tale. His favorite narrative was of the capture of Lord Cornwallis by his master, which was as follows:

“Yassuh, it were right on dis yere road, jest over dar by de fo’ks. Gen’l Washin’ton, he knowed dat ole Co’nwallis, he gwine pass dis way, an’ ‘im an’ me, we done hid behin’ de bushes an’ watched. Yassuh, an’ when ole Co’nwallis, he come by, Gen’l Washin’ton, he jumped out at ‘im, an’ he grab ‘im by de collah, an’ he say, ‘Yoh blame’ ole rascal, dat de time what Ah done gone cotch ye!”