Jokes for all occasions: help

The farmer found his new hired man very unsatisfactory. A neighbor who chanced along inquired:

“How’s that new hand o’ your’n?”

“Cuss the critter!” was the bitter reply. “He ain’t a hand—he’s a sore thumb.”

* * *

A savage old boar got into a garden, and was doing much damage. When two men tried to drive it out, the animal charged. One of the two climbed a tree, the other dodged, and laid hold on the boar’s tail. He hung on desperately, and man and beast raced wildly round and round the tree. Finally, the man shouted between gasps:

“For heaven’s sake, Bill, climb down here, and help me leggo this ornery old hog!”