Adult Joke Book: The New Arrival

The wife’s mother rushed into the maternity wing to find out how her daughter was progressing. As she entered the waiting room, she spotted her son-in-law. Unbeknown to her, he was listening to the cricket on his iPod.

“How’s it going?” she asked anxiously.

“Not bad,” he smiled, “they’ve got four out and there’s only one to go.”

“Aaah,” she screamed, and fainted.

* * *

The 50-year-old woman phoned up her 60-year-old husband.

“Darling, it’s a miracle, the doctor says I’m pregnant, isn’t that wonderful? You’re going to be a father.”

“That’s great” replied the husband. “By the way, who is this?”

* * *

Johnnie asked for time off because his wife was going to have a baby. The following day, his boss asked him what it was – a boy or a girl.

“Too early to say,” said Johnny.” “it’ll be another 9 months before we know the answer to that.”

* * *

“Doctor, doctor, I’m so worried,” said the anxious man.

“Both my wife and I have black hair, but our son’s just been born with red hair. Do you think something funny has been going on?”

“Not necessarily,” replied the doctor. “How many times do you have sex?”

“About 5 times a year.”

“Well, there’s your answer then, you’re just a little rusty.”