Adult Joke Book: Clubbing

A naive young man was encouraged to dance with one of the village girls. As the dance became faster, one of the girl’s earrings dropped off and fell down her back.

“Be a darling and get that for me,” she asked her partner.

“Yes,” he stammered, but the more he reached for it, the further down her back it fell.

“Ahem,” he said, blushing madly. “I feel a perfect arse.”

“Really? Thank you, my tits are pretty good as well.”

* * *

There’s a badminton competition at the local leisure centre and a young man, seeing a girl all on her own, decides to go and ask her if she would like to team up with him for a doubles match. Much to his astonishment she yells at the top of her voice, “How dare you. No I will not join you for a quickie in the back of your car!”

The room falls silent and all eyes are turned to the young man who shuffles away totally embarrassed and humiliated.

Ten minutes later the girl approaches him full of apologies and explains that she is experimenting with people’s reactions to different situations as part of her thesis on human behaviour. As she finishes talking he exclaims very loudly, “£200! You’ve got to be joking, I can get it much cheaper elsewhere.”

* * *

Tom was so shy he’d never had the courage to ask a girl out so his mate Jack decided to take him out on the town and get him laid. Halfway through the evening they were drinking in a nightclub when a girl at the other end of the bar winked at Tom.

“Hey, Jack,” he stuttered, “that girl over there winked at me. What shall I do?”

“Wink back,” said Jack.

A little later she smiled at him.

“Hey, Jack, she’s smiling at me now.”

“Well, smile back,” said Jack.

A moment later he turned to his mate again and gasped, “Jack, Jack, she’s just leant forward and shown me her tits. What should I do?”

“Show her your nuts,” said Jack who was busy chatting up someone else.

So Tom turned to face the girl, put one finger in his ear, one finger up his nose and hollered like a jackass.

* * *

Dancing together for the first time, the man turned to his partner and said, “My dear, do you know the minuet?”

“Good gracious, no, I don’t even know all the men I’ve laid.”

* * *

Three men went out on the town and landed up at a sleazy nightclub. As they drank their beers, a naked go-go dancer performed on the table in front of them and at the end of the dance the audience showed its appreciation by throwing her money. The first man grinned at his mates, took £10 out of his pocket and stuck it on the girl’s backside. The second man got out a £20 note and stuck it on her fanny. Now the third man had almost spent up but he didn’t want to be financially embarrassed in front of the other two. Suddenly, he had a great idea, he took out his credit card, swiped it down her crack and took the £30.